The Fragrant Uma Thurman.

Name dropper?

Me?

How very dare you!

I have worked in lots of Hotels, for over 20 years so obviously I have had 'stars' under my roof so to speak.

When does it become acceptable to start blabbing abut them? Is it like that 'official secrets' thing, where the powers that be wait 50 years or so before telling us mere mortals, that our beloved leaders once farted at a state function in Moscow?

I don't suppose she'll mind, and anyway, it wasn't her fault.

We had the production team, and some of the cast of 'Robin Hood' staying at the Hotel, not the Kevin Costner 'Prince of Thieves' version, but the smaller budget English version, starring Patrick Bergin. The rumours were flying around that Kevin Costner was indeed staying with us, and the branches of the trees in the grounds were assaulted by the fat arses of teenage girls trying to catch a glimpse of him in his tights.

Uma Thurman was Maid Marian, she wasn't well known then, it was four years before Pulp Fiction, so she was booked into a standard, normal, ground floor room.

We had had a particularly busy day, lots of check outs, a wedding, staff on holiday so we were understaffed. It was also quite an exiting day, in that one of our chambermaids had won a substantial amount of money on the National Bingo the night before! Why she came into work I still don't understand, but I'm glad she did.

We were flying, sweating, nearly finished, last room, they were ok, getting on fine with it, so I went to check the public areas and see if I could help that inebriated girl from the wedding find her shoe. I found it, eventually, under the fountain in the outside smoking area. I went back to check on the girls a short time later.

I could hear the giggling, the clanking, the obvious sound of no work being done......four housekeepers had congregated in the last room to 'help' finish it off.

I walked along the corridor ready to hurry them up, to find other work for the non essential staff crowding the room, at exactly the same time as Ms Thurman had crept into the ground floor fire exit, and was returning to her room.

She smiled that enigmatic smile at me, we exchanged a hello and we walked, together, into her room, and both saw at the very same moment, two housekeeping staff in the bathroom, one with a bottle of perfume, mid-spray on to her neck, the other, lovingly brushing her long hair with Maid Marians' hairbrush.......another was sitting on her unmade bed, leafing through some private letters, the last one, on hearing us enter the room, jumped into the air, and began dusting furiously, convincing no-one.

I was so relieved that she didn't have that sword she so swiftly dispatched her enemies with in Kill Bill that day!

I don't know who was more annoyed, her or me, but she certainly let her feelings be known!

She calmed down after a while, and was very nice about the whole thing, but I was embarrassed for days. The whole Hotel was awash with stories about how she had screamed at the girls, and threatened to sue.....typical rumour mill.....but actually she was too nice about it.

Shame really, it would have been a better story :)

The film was much better than the Hollywood version by the way.