Hotel Management.....Why Do I Do This?

26 January 2008

Very Very Very Ingracious Punters

Hmm, I thought my pizza tasted funny!

God knows what the good people of Ireland have been drinking in our lovely, creamy, packed full of calcium..(carbonate and yummy dioxins)milk...all these years, from what I have seen there has been enough plastic burned on the old fire to knit a new ozone layer.

Not guilty of course, I go to the tip, well, hubby goes to the tip, but he uses my car so that's the same.

Today we have some VIP guests...Prime Minister? No that was yesterday, Nelson Mandela? one day, no, we have, lets see, journalists, sales managers' brother and his lover, someone from the property pages of the local rag, who else, oh yeah, the manager of a local firm who 'may' or 'may not' want to have a training course here in the summer but he can't decide yet so we are to butter him up anyway 'just in case'......fuck me, I am not worthy to be in such company.

Question to the floor..what constitutes a VIP?? or, as I am told these specimens are VVVIPS?? Someone who 'might (if they can get their act together and decide to) make a booking', or someone who actually matters?

My supervisor rang me to check if these were to get any 'special' treatment, my answer is NO NO NO... we should provide the same level of accommodation and service to all our guests.

I don't care if they write a few lines in some obscure golfing rag that no-one reads, or they might just tell Ireland that the barman forgot to put ice/olive/salt/martini, in his martini....I'm just too feckin' cynical for this industry sometimes.

Example of how these liggers and langers should be made to pay for every square of toilet roll;

Just to be nice, because we didn't have to, we gave one of our journalist 'friends' a welcome breakfast hamper on arrival.

This included, home made soda bread, bacon, eggs milk, clonakilty black pudding, sausages, orange juice, honey, etc etc....I could hardly carry it it was so heavy and laden with goodies.

The next morning, one of my colleagues took a call from them, her face, I am told, went from Irish pasty to red to crimson to blue because she was holding her breath to stop herself exploding.

Consummate professional that she is, she kept her reputation intact by not losing her temper and dealt with their request.

The wife of the journo had called to complain about, not to ask for, or comment on, but to complain, loudly, bitterly, and with free use of expletives the lack of butter in her hamper!! She yelled as my colleague raised the handset to her ear, blasted her....can you believe the bare faced cheek of some people?

I wish I had been the one to take it down to her, I could have slashed their tyres into the bargain, given them something real to complain about, tut tut Queenie, get back in yer box.

I should soon be the proud owner of these fantastic badges made by Manuel, in the comfort of his utility room.

I was convinced I was getting a badger, that's how I read it, 'badger sets for the first ten to email', but now he tells me I'm only going to get a couple of little bits of metal with a very dangerous pin on the back that you could have someone's eye out with. Can't wait, now of course he knows where to send the hate mail as well...oh well in for a penny...!!


Gypsy said...

Ooooh I could feel my head ready to explode just reading about the ungrateful piece of turd. Some people have such an inflated sense of their own importance and it was FREE for pete's sake! How can anyone complain about something that was given in good faith and let me say it again....for FREE!!!!

We all came into this world naked as a jay bird wailing and crying. One day we will all die. Whatever happens in between is a crap shoot. We are all equal in my humble opinion but of course we humans have made it so this simply is not the case. We are our own worst enemies sometimes.

Queen Of Clean said...

Ooh very deep Gypsy girl!

If I had a cent for every guest like that, I'd be able to afford a coffee in Bewleys.

I was really suprised that they were like that, they seemed so happy when I took it down to them, still, I live by the 'you don't have to be like them' rule, if they're ungrateful thats their problem not mine.

D said...

We've had quite a few VIPs under my watch. Most were 'Mystery Guests' who we treated very well, but the same as everyone else. A couple were celebrities, one local, one A-List.

I'm happy to say we treated them just like everyone else.

Queen Of Clean said...

Hi D
I went off on one there because it just annoys me so much that we are expected to pander to potential clients, it's so urgh annoying!I find it very cynical and false. Not to mention expensive.

I always treat all our guests with the same level of contempt, why should VIPs be any different?